25 Things About Me Meme

by Azreel | March 2nd, 2009

1. I have webbed feet.
2. I once owned an Emu.
3. A six fingered man killed my father.
4. I am sixth in the line of succession to the Throne of England.
5. My eyes naturally glow under blacklights.
6. Recruiters for the French National Olympic Synchronized Swim Team still stalk me.
7. I can read by osmosis.
8. There is a court order prohibiting me from discussing the events of February 12th 2007.
9. Some people are horse whisperers, others are dog whisperers.  I am a hedgehog whisperer.
10. Officials from NASA call me every Friday at 6:32 PM to ask me to unplug my refrigerator.
11. I am prohibited from owning Llamas in the state of California.
12. I can hear dog whistles.
13. Bigfoot camped out in my garage for three weeks last May.  Yes, his feet really are that big.
14. I have dreams of the future every night, but they only tell me the daily soup special at the local Potbelly.
15. I had a minor speaking role in the movie Moulin Rouge!
16. For three months in 1982 I made a living as a bare-knuckle boxer in an illegal underground league in Biloxi.
17. The number 17 is a myth propagated by the Trilateral Illuminati Commission.  And the Masons.
18. I grew up a poor black child…
19. Dingoes ate my baby.
20. The Aflac duck was actually my Aunt Gertrude’s pet until she sold him to an L.A. ad executive. He really does quack “Aflac!”
21. I’m a travelin’ man, I’ve made a lot of stops all over the world. And in every port I own the heart Of at least one lovely girl.
22. I have a birthmark on my ass in the shape of New Hampshire.
23. I still hold the all time high score for Q*bert at Chuck-e-Cheese.
24. I made it on to Jeopardy once, but Alex Trebek was so jealous of my humongous mustache that he refused to go on set.  He was so shaken after that he shaved.
25. To this day I still crave Emu beak soup.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Pages

Recent Posts

April 2020
S M T W T F S
« Sep    
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  



We Are Simon Jester

Click it!

Recent Comments

Blogroll

Daily Reads

Archives

Categories

Meta