Doing Gertrude

by Azreel | May 29th, 2006

So, the news story (which was related to me as a joke) went like this.

“When Nathan Radlich’s house was burgled, thieves left his TV, his VCR, and even left his watch. What they did take was “generic white cardboard box filled with greyish-white powder.” (That at least is the way the police described it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said “that it looked similar to cocaine and they’d probably thought they’d hit the big time.”

Then Nathan stood in front of the TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: “Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago.”

Well, the next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan’s doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude’s ashes remained. And there was this note. It said: “Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister.

No hard feelings. Have a nice day.”

As a joke, it’s funny enough. But of course, I had to check snopes, since the story cited the Florida News. Turns out, the story is mostly true up until the part where he’s pleading for the return of the ashes. just goes to show. All the best jokes are rooted in reality.

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