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This blog does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends or my dogs and cats; don’t quote me on that; don’t quote me on anything; you may distribute this URL and all its associated sub URLs freely but you may not make a profit from it or include this website or any content contained herein in commercial publications without written permission; humor is subject to change without notice; humor has been slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, spindle or mutilate; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this offer is void where prohibited, taxed or otherwise restricted; humor is provided “as is” without warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; no shoes, no shirt, no service; quantities are limited while supplies last; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; parental advisory – explicit humor; this website may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; NSFW; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; fruit hat and maracas sold separately; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; objects may be larger than they appear; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during your visit; sealed with foil for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool, dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; reading this blog may be hazardous to your wealth; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of this blog; material used in this blog is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of this journal; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting… if symptoms persist consult a humorologist; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, El Nino, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, typos, misspelled words, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in this journal, and incidents owing to motor vehicle accidents, airplane crash, ship sinking, leaky roof, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, broken glass, flying projectiles, pregnant or dimpled chads or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply. Note: By the act of reading this disclaimer, you have entered into a licensing agreement with FreeSpiritMind.com and are thereby required to mail us 62.5% of your wages for the remainder of your life or 99 years, whichever comes first.

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